Page Title

Specks of Dust

Specks of dust we are and our journey brings
Another ripple on proud Saturn’s rings.
Make your violin sing love to me once more
As we move mountains closer to the shore,
Make my eyes reflect your smile once again
As we forget in love all sorrow and all pain,
Speak into island winds and swim me into light
As peace is my aim, my search and my right.
The streets are raining from golden frames,
Nameless, as we are, specks with no names.
Everyone has a sky, except for the sky,
And we let it mirror itself in our eye.
Float on rivers and talk to the sea,
Be part of the shadow underneath a tree,
Fly on seagull wings and laugh sitting on clouds,
It takes one to bring together the crowds,
One has the power of all and all are just one,
From a speck of dust it has all begun.
A speck of dust may be easily blown away,
But it also has the tremendous power to stay,
To dream, to love, to smile and to dance
If only given and if only taketh the chance.
There’s joy and pain, there’s strength and there’s rust
In our eyes made of stars and our bodies of dust.
Love the child within you, the wise man without
Any wonders left, the man with no doubt
Is immobile as concrete and cold just as ice,
Let yourself fly, childishly, amused, imprecise,
Let your fingers of light take mine and forget
That once you were angry, tired, upset,
Reflect the sun, rays will caress your hair
As you will become one with air,
Let yourself swirl, let yourself trust,
Let yourself be just a speck of dust.

Julia Kretsch
7 May 2013
Constanta

Chance

If you don’t see me

It doesn’t mean

I’m not crying

I’m not dying

Inside…

If you don’t hear me

It doesn’t mean

I’m not aching

I’m not breaking

Inside…

There are pains

Stronger than death

For they live

And with them we march

On the streets of sadness

With our glorious masks

And our fake smiles…

Until one day…

We wake up and we see:

The dream

That used to give us wings

Has flown away

Like a lost butterfly

Forever…

If you don’t give a chance

To happiness

You give a chance

To sorrow…

Julia Kretsch

7 December 2010

Bucharest

A Portrait of Hope

Quietly breathing in a corner of my heart

Hope prays, her eyes are closed, her lips apart...

She’s in a place so frightening and so dark

That there‘s no light, no mere spark…

The sun can’t shine on ripples any more

And there is no one left now to knock on her door…

She lifts her head at every whisper, every sound,

But it’s all gone, there is no one around…

Grows stronger and then weakens still,

She’ll grow insane, she is already ill…

She cannot leave her only home – a chest

That held her, oh, so sweetly once to rest…

All autumn colors smile, but it’s in vain –

She cannot see them, as she cannot see the rain…

The pulse of love keeps her alive and willing,

In that corner of my poor heart she’s breathing…

The shore is far, the lighthouse dimmed its ray,

She longs to swim for yet another day…

She keeps a Christmas present, oh, so near

And wraps it up in pain with every tear,

For she won’t live to see the smile of her dreams

And she won’t die to find her peace or so it seems…

Stuck, she’ll be haunting in that corner of my heart,

Cold, almost dead and painfully alive in part…

Endlessly praying to stand up from where she fell

And praying for a key that could unlock her shell…

Rainbows are black, as are the stars on a white sky

She knows no laughter now and she can only sigh…

The sea has no more waves, the scent has gone away.

Her lips who told so much have nothing more to say…

Torn by her guilt and by her foolish pride,

She put all help, all reached out hands aside.

She shivers and a wave of hand is all it took.

Her broken wings are resting on a book

Once borrowed from the blindest Light.

She treasures it – a most delightful sight.

I wipe her tears, but her river will not cease,

This jewel’s broken and can find no peace.

I pray for Hope and hold her hand in her despair

I feed her and I sometimes brush her hair.

I need her or I’ll die, all that I am will give.

And so I hope for Hope to breathe, to love, to live.

Julia Kretsch

12 October 2010

Bucharest

Forgiveness

They feed me guilt, they feed me sorrow,
And call my loneliness "tomorrow".
The fingers on the stone are shaking,
The temples of my mind are braking.
There's no more light and no more windows,
Just rooms with dark and aching widows.
There's no release, no freedom and no life,
There's only pain, a restless knife.
Behind your smile I see the sneer,
I hear your screeching teeth as you draw near.
I'm lonely in a crowded world,
To vultures I shall soon be hurled.
Walls are pressing from all around me
And dead dreams are struggling to leave me -
Unborn children of my ancient mind,
Conceived then when the world was kind.
My pain is bitter, as my taste.
My life is over and a waste.
I wish that I were numb and therefore you,
I wish that I were nothing, therefore true.
Outside those bars I see a flicker, still
I do not trust my eyes that it is real.
I do not trust my hand that it's been kissed
Or that my being has ever been missed.
I do not trust my tears to fall from my eyes,
But from some clouds above me in the skies.
And I don't trust my hair to blow in the wind,
It must be autumn leaves onto my forehead pinned.
You've turned the world into a hellish sight,
Where no one can distinguish wrong and right.
I'm sorry I am not the sky, the Sun, the Moon,
I'm sorry I am just an ember, dying soon.
Forgive me for not shining, for not being right,
For not disappearing sooner from your sight.
You see me from above the ditch, so small,
But if I were beside you, I'd be tall.
Forgive me if I am a fool and still believe,
But I shall do so even as I leave.
And even crushed by torture and dismay
I will still smile, I will still pray.
Forgiveness is no mere word, is love, so pure.
I give it all to you, if you are able to endure.

Julia Kretsch
6th June 2010
Bucharest

Without Your Light

Me,
In my coldest night,
Far from any illusion…

The world,
Now without a light,
Is closer to its conclusion…

I can hear
Voices dimming…
Time’s ending now,
Asleep, somehow…

I pretend
I’m still dreaming,
But it’s so cold
And I feel so old…

A glitter still,
A light so real,
Smiling at me…

Into the night
I no longer fight,
I just give in…

There’s not a tear
As I get near
The end of the road…

Julia Kretsch
11 December 2009
Bucharest

I Was Here

I could live in your eyes

And die when you close them…

Ice burning –

The soul I am is slowly melting

Into a vast sea of nothingness…

I was here…

I could as well be lost

In the sea of deception…

I could go blind

But no one would care

Except for the light…

And light would be there no more…

For my hand has nothing more to write,

Nothing more to answer to.

Blank. And question marks.

A dream is but reality,

When they tell you reality is but a dream…

Dressed up in fog,

I wander on the shore of doubt…

I’m not afraid

I might lose myself in the crowd…

I am each and everyone,

All and nothing. Dust…

Being punished

For thinking I was being punished –

The irony of distance…

I crawl ahead

And say I live…

It’s warm, it’s cold

And it’s too late…

Taboo words are merciless –

They do not wait…

Sadness and pain in my luggage

And sorrow in my pockets –

It’s a long journey…

Light is love

And love is light…

How can a mute cry?

Why do we settle for hell

When we could go to heaven?

Julia Kretsch

20 November 2009

Bucharest

My Reality

Sleep thy sweet sleep, oh, dream of mine,

And let me visit you from time to time.

As centuries a second seem

When my reality’s a dream.

Drive all nightmares away and smile

And be serene for just a while,

As life is only a sun beam

When my reality’s a dream.

Close your eyes, twilight awaits.

Choose a fate from all the fates

And wake up at rooster’s scream

When my reality’s a dream.

Put down your wings and rest,

Take off your hat and jest,

Pick up a world to trim

When my reality’s a dream.

Julia Kretsch

2 December 2009

Bucharest

Your Invented World

All you give
Is a world of pain
This is life
Running through my veins
These are tears
That you take as rain

I can see
Through your gift-wrapped lie
You invent
Worlds you can’t deny
All I have
Is another sigh.

Hide again
My truth again
Hide again
My life again
I can’t live and I can’t breathe
I can’t smile in your world again.

Cities of dummies
And dreams of gold
Stories forgotten
And truth untold
I never thought that it could be so cold
In your invented world.

Julia Kretsch
12 February 2007
Bucharest

Here I Don't Belong

You have no time for me
As if your clock went faster.
This voyage seems to be
Heading for disaster.

I see no clouds, no rain
And no snow falling.
Through my window pane
The sun is burning.

Orbiting through your space,
Colliding with your inner eye,
I see the mask put on your face,
The truth shadowed by a lie.

You smile to birds, you smile to trees.
Your link is here so strong,
Your soul is here at ease.
It's here I don't belong.

Julia Kretsch
30 January 2007
Bucharest

That Magic Night

Alone in darkness,
Cold feet and cold hands,
Icicles in my dreams,
I fall into oblivion.

I'm sinking into emptiness
With no beginnings, no ends,
And my heartbeat, it seems
To keep on going on and on.

I dream of angels calling me,
I fly above the city lights,
And for the first time I smile
Like never ever before.

A warm hand is holding me
Like in my many cold nights.
A second seems like a while
In this voyage of lore.

That magic night has come
Announcing the birth of light.
All that I could dream
Has happened tonight.

Beats like a drum
My heart inside
And all people seem
To be friends tonight.

Julia Kretsch
12 December 2006
Bucharest

Lighthouse Of The World

How could I ever be misguided

When you lighten me so fully

Through the night, throughout the gully,

When I suffer, but I hide it?

Lift my spirit, give me hope,

When there’s no one there to love me,

When there’s only death around me,

And I slide, fall down the slope.

Lighthouse, dreams have come upon me,

Dreams of happiness and wonder.

You have touched me, placed me under

Your enormous light – you blind me.

For your truth is so delightful,

Yet I feel I knew it all –

In an ancient time, my soul

Was so lightened, so insightful!

Now I read the signs you taught me,

And remember love to give,

And to smile, to thank, to live,

As your light lives deep inside me.

Julia Kretsch

20 June 2006

Bucharest

Ante Mortem

Chains that give me sorrow

Keep my life away from you;

Silence – one glimpse of tomorrow,

Ancient all and nothing new.

Tomorrow will rise again

Becoming yesterday once more,

For centuries, in vain;

It’s all been done before.

Like crystals to your eyes,

Like music to your ears:

A life fulfilled in lies,

An endless rain of tears.

Black shadows on the wall:

Not death, but life is rising.

A word of doom – that’s all,

And so the sun keeps shining.

Asleep: serenity of fools,

Drunk all with dreams to last;

Backwards: that’s how life pulls,

A spell on us to cast.

Repeat the love, my friend,

Repeat all world’s mistakes,

All new to you until the end,

‘Cause that’s what living takes.

If I could touch your eyes,

The fog to take away,

You’d see the one who dies

In that who lives today.

And if my sayings hurt you,

And if my coldness burns,

It’s just a way to tell you:

The world, though dead, it turns.

Because it seems that your forget

That days and nights, you’ll lose them,

And you will know that all you’ll get

Is this short selfish life called Ante Mortem.

Julia Kretsch

2 December 1997

Constanta

Fuel For The Creature Of Chaos

Sleeping in the darkest hole,

Playing creature as a role,

Shocking, strange and insecure,

Greedy handed, self unsure,

Opened eyes and mouth to live,

Chewing words to make believe.

Wrote a line, or two, or so,

Tried to find a place to go,

Felt the rain fall down your face,

Heard the drops fall in disgrace,

Faced upon the driest grass,

Left the trees by you to pass,

Slapped in anger someone’s cheek,

Hiding that you’re small and weak.

Ran across the longest road,

Changed its every sign or code,

Talked to devils, talked to God –

That’s self-talking, swept by mud.

Tin gods stealing off your mind,

Truth out there for you to find,

Heavy curtains hiding treasures

They stay put to all endeavors.

One last creature to retrieve

From the longest disbelief.

Here’s for you one more to stand –

That is life’s and death’s command,

That is dying when believing

And it’s living when achieving

One small pearl on the world’s booth,

That is one and called The Truth:

God has found a way to pay us –

Fuel for the creature of chaos.

Julia Kretsch

14 April 1997

Constanta

Dogs

The dogs come out at night,

Howling at the lonely passenger,

Those eyes that gleam so bright

Are splinters in my soul.

The coldness dims the light

Of Yellow Death – the cruelest messenger,

I’m shivering with fright

Like fishes in an empty bowl.

Teeth I almost feel –

Sparkling pearls for pain,

All in haste for a meal:

The flesh that now is me.

Feels and seems unreal

How my blood they drain,

How my skin they peel:

Teeth engraving me.

And Yellow soon becomes me,

And Death I am already,

The poison crawls inside me

In lethal haste.

I’m now a cloud, a tree –

To change my essence ready,

And as I die I see

My life before – a waste.

Julia Kretsch

20 September 1999

Constanta

Rain From Your Eyes

Glittering stars
Covering scars,
Comfort and ease
Hiding disease.

There’s a famine in me,
A famine in you
To make the world see
What they put us through.

News of the rich
Becoming more rich,
No news of the poor
Of what they endure.

And it all makes me cry,
It all makes me shout.
Why do they have to die?
Couldn’t we just reach out?

Diamonds and pearls,
Yachts, cars and furs,
Their only role:
Wrap an empty soul.

Trembling hands
And slippery feet
Searching for friends,
On the verge of the pit.

Your heart’s not a desert.
I see rain from your eyes.
A child is a present
God brings in our lives.

War, thirst and starvation -
A child’s dying tonight.
You could bring salvation,
You can make it all right.

When you make your prayer tonight,
Think of those with no power to fight.
Put yourself, for once, in their place
And then try to put a smile on their face.

Julia Kretsch
17 August 2007
Bucharest

My Life

My life is
A thought from a distance,
And love in this thought,
And hope in this love,
And fear in this hope.

My life is
A shadow on a wall,
A stone for a grave,
A bell in a church,
A tear in an ocean,
A pen in somebody else’s hand,
A frame to a picture,
A cover to a book,
A leaf from a tree,
A letter in the alphabet,
A street in a town
And a word to be said.

My life is
Always the second.
Right after yours…

Julia Kretsch
26 January 1997
Constanta

Home

At the end of time
I will be the last to breathe,
I will claim what’s mine,
May it all be pain and grief.
Heal this only, heal this holy
World in me.

My father’s a pigeon,
My mother’s a tree,
The earth is my religion,
My own aim is to be free.
Break these heavy, break these aching
Chains for me.

Eyes won’t cry forever,
Ears won’t hear you pray.
You won’t find the truth, no, never,
Do what must and come what may.
Tell the only, tell the holy
Word to me.

Crawling thoughts torment me,
Dreams of what is true and real
Longing deep inside me,
Soul’s remains I want to feel.
Save my only, save my lonely
Soul for me.

Take a leaf out of your book,
Make it new and strong.
In my hands the world I took,
Now they tell me I was wrong.
Take this ugly, take this jolly
Lie from me.

Like blood tastes the black ground,
Like smoke, this ancient tree,
Like a noise, this nature’s sound,
Clean this home and set it free.
Save the only, save the holy
Home, please.

Julia Kretsch
28 December 1996
Constanta

Payment

For that pleasure I now suffer,
For that laughter I now cry,
For the rain I have no cover,
For the joy I have just sigh.

For my endless torture keeps me
On the peak of human race,
And each leaf that falls beside me
Turns from me its rusty face.

Give no help to me, you, Keeper,
Hold the key from hungry hearts,
And each day is a deceiver
Made of teary, longing parts.

Julia Kretsch
16 August 1997
Constanta